Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Guilt

Guilt is usually associated with doing something wrong. Yet, I find myself feeling guilty when I want to run, have a girl’s night, or just leave the house in general. I have even found myself feeling guilty about going to the grocery store. Now I don't always feel guilty, it usually happens when I leave the house by myself. Date nights I am good with, I don't feel bad when I leave the brats with their Grandma or Nana (Grandma - Hubs Mom & Nana - My Mom). Just leaving the hubs by himself.... Why?
Maybe it’s because I know, he knows, if I come home and any one of the brats went down for nap time late, heaven forbid skipped a nap or stayed up past bedtime I tend to lose it a little. I know, I know (because my dear sister NEVER lets me forget) I am a control freak but I am working on it. In my defense I only get upset because I am the one that deals with the repercussions.
#1 stays up past her normal 8:30pm bedtime, surely a bug must have crawled up her ass because the list below is just some of the things that NEVER fails to happen.
  • Eyes are rolling all over the house all day
  • Dirty looks are being thrown left and right
  • She breathes like a bear that just ran to catch its dinner
  • Don't you dare try and talk to her or you will regret it!! I will bet money on it!
All of the above = me taking deep breaths trying to keep myself sane and trying to walk away.
#2 Misses nap time or goes to bed late and the following happens.
  • Crying over #1's eyes rolling all over the house.
  • Legs turn to jello
  • Crying 
  • If you touch him you have now just socked him!
  • Oh, did I mention he cries?
All of the above = me taking deep breaths trying to keep myself sane and trying to walk away. This one is so far up my ass most days I can't walk away.

#3 misses a nap (this doesn't happen often, she is still too little)
  • Up throughout the night (I hate that less sleep = less sleep, WTF)
All of the above = Me up throughout the night looking at the hubs sleeping so soundly and wanting to sock wake him to help, sheer exhaustion the next day and extreme irritability.



Now I know I am not the only one out there. I recently had a conversation with my cousin about her feeling the same way when she needs to go shower. REALLY! How is it that fellas can go about their day without a care in the world (or so it seems) and us ladies are stricken with guilt?
We shouldn't feel guilty about taking care of ourselves physically (exercising or showering) or emotionally (getting the hell out of the house). We work, we cook, we clean and for what? To feel guilty.